The Potions Master
by Tirzah
Summary: My first HP fanfic. Please read and review. Read the note in the beginning. Okay so it isn't the most original but I'm trying. Takes place in Harry's Seventh year.
1. In the Hallways.

Author's note: I have never written fan fiction before. I appear to be incapable of coming up with plots without including myself in them. I will do my best not to turn the character into a Mary-Sue. Nor do I intend a romance between a regular character and my own. Please give me suggestions, comments, constructive criticisms, the works. I could also use a good title. Thank you!  
  
If you recognize it, I don't own it.  
  
Snapes POV:  
  
It was the first day of a new school year. I was checking the halls for students out after curfew. Surprisingly, I heard crying coming from a corridor far from the common rooms. When I went to investigate I found a young girl. She must have been a first year, I didn't recognize her.  
  
"You, what are you doing out here?" I said sternly.  
  
To my surprise she immediately stopped crying and ran towards me. "Can you help me please sir? I'm lost. I was following some other students but got separated when a ghost with black hair…"  
  
'Peeve's' I thought irritated.  
  
"…dumped water on me. When I couldn't figure out where they had gone he offered to help me find them but he just got me really lost and then disappeared. And now it's after curfew and it's dark and scary…"  
  
She appeared to be in danger of babbling on like that for a while so I interrupted. "Well, that's what you get for trusting a poltergeist you stupid girl!" She started to tear up again. I sighed deeply. "Come with me." I didn't know what house she was in but all were in the same general direction from this location. We traveled in silence for a while.  
  
"Excuse me Professor, but who are you?"  
  
Ah-ha! A chance to terrify her! All students are quickly informed of the horrors of Professor Snape! I expected her to gasp in fear or start crying again (that seemed to be all she was good for). "I am Professor Snape." I turned slightly to gauge her reaction.  
  
To my surprise and partial dismay she laughed. In fact she nearly fell over herself laughing. "You! The old snake! I don't believe it!" she managed to get out between gasps. Now I was irritated. How dare she!  
  
"Look here you foolish girl…!" I began angrily. But she interrupted me.  
  
"Oh, I know where I am now! Thank you Professor!" she said and immediately ran off. I stared at her in disbelief for a moment. She wasn't afraid and even interrupted me! And I hadn't even taken away points! All right, granted I didn't know her house yet but this was absurd. I was about to follow her when Minerva McGonagall came around the corner. I don't particularly like Minerva very much but I must admit I deeply respect her.  
  
"Severus, Dumbledore has called a staff meeting tomorrow at five. Will you be there?"  
  
I assured her I would and went off to make sure that I had everything I needed for potions tomorrow. The first class of the year would be with first-year Griffindors, fortunately Slytherins as well. I would need my rest. 


	2. The first class

A/N Hello faithful readers! (hears crickets chirp) Well, if I have anyone reading this, hi! Guess what! I found this neat little blue and purple button at the bottom of the page! And do you know what that button does? It allows you to make comments on the story, which at very least tells the author that some one is reading. I got zero reviews for the last chapter. Is anyone out there? I don't have a lot of time right now, it's getting late and I have a quiz tomorrow that I still haven't read the material on and I have a cold and …  
  
(Snape comes out: "Get on with it") Any way, review, criticize, wish me luck on my quiz, tell me to get better soon, tell me to spare you all my efforts and quit writing all together… (Snape clears his throat). This whole story will be Snapes POV and the same disclaimer for the whole story.  
  
The First Class  
  
I chose to skip breakfast the next day to go over the plans for the first lesson. The first potion was to be an elementary sleeping draught (A/N I checked the book, they don't mention what the first potion is so I am using this one.). Even five-year-olds should be able to do this properly but somehow year after year students fail miserably at it. I walked into the classroom to make sure everything was in order for twenty first years and their familiars (A/N I don't know if animals are allowed in the class room but can think of two specific instances in the books were Neville's toad in mentioned in the class room so I'm saying they are, with the exception of owls which are kept in the owlrys.) After satisfying myself that all was in order and I had another twenty minutes until students showed I sat down to review the potion in the book. Fifteen years and I'm still using the same book. "Magical Draughts and Potions". Maybe I should make sure there aren't any better on the market.  
  
I was absorbed in my thoughts until a surprisingly cheerful voice called out, "Good Morning, Professor!" I was so startled I nearly fell out of my seat. Even Slytherins usually aren't cheerful towards my lessons or me and the other houses tend to flat out despise both. I looked up to see the same girl I had met in the corridors the night before. She couldn't Slytherin or I would have seen her before. She had to be a Griffindor. That surprised me. She hadn't seemed too brave the night before. She was still standing there smiling at me. I glared at her but her smile only got bigger. "I see you are in as good a mood as ever, Professor." She added. Fortunately she then took her seat. I noticed a lean black cat following her. I hadn't gotten a look at her the night before. She was a pale thing with hair almost as black as mine. Her eyes were brown. The combination making her appear washed out. Well, she certainly wasn't a raving beauty. Other students started to file in. Most cast an apprehensive look at me before taking their seats. Finally all had taken their seats and it was almost time to begin. Strangely enough the only person sitting alone was that strange girl. Apparently other people thought her as disgustingly cheerful as I did. It was time to call role. (A/N I cannot think up names. It took me forever to name my character. I will only name others as they become important.) The strange girl's name turned out to be Sophia Goldstone (A/N Sophia is Latin for wisdom). I was going to have to teach her that I am not to be trifled with. It would mean setting her up as an example to the class. I hesitated. Than struck. Seven years ago I had been able to unnerve Potter with some questions, lets see how she responds.  
  
"Goldstone! What is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfbane?"  
  
"Absolutely nothing sir. They are the same plant, also known as aconite." She replied still with the infernal smiling. Oh lovely, another Granger! Memorizers have their place but I prefer someone who has talent. I gave her a curt nod and told everyone to pair up for making their potions. Perhaps I can find something wrong with her potion. There must have been an odd number of students because while Goldstone looked around everyone else paired up leaving her alone. She appeared hurt but merely raised her hand and asked if she could work alone.  
  
I raised an eyebrow. "No one wants to work with you? What ever are you doing to drive everyone away?" Some chuckles went through the crowd. Some anonymous voice suggested the problem being her smell. More laughter. She looked about to cry again but merely said firmly that it wasn't her loss if the class was made up of jerks. I raised another eyebrow but gave her permission.  
  
I started wandering about to check on everyone's potions. What dunderheads! Can't they get even the simplest potion right? Goldstone raised her hand. "Is this right professor?" She was handing me a golden opportunity to mock her. No way was I going to pass that up. Except for one thing… there was nothing to mock. She stirred it and lifted the ladle allowing it to drain away so I could gauge the consistency. It practically could have been used for an illustration in the textbook. Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't perfect but was as close as one could get on a first potion. She had a knack for it. And there was no way on this earth I could tell her. I grunted and moved onto the next. Someone shouted at her that it was so bad I was struck dumb. She ignored them and continued. I went on criticizing. After all, it really is a simple potion. Even a child should have gotten it right… 


	3. The First Day

A/N: I have Reviews! People are reading! Yay! Yippee Skippy! (Snape: Where did that come from? Me: I have no idea.) Okay. Sorry about not updating in a few days. First of all this is Harry Potter and Co's seventh year. I do not dislike them at all. I merely am trying to round out Snape's Character. I believe that there is more to him than the stern Potions teacher. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out what and write this fic. I am so trying not to make my OC the center of this fic and if I work this right she won't even be in this chapter. As to why no one likes her… I don't fully know. When I was in elementary school no one seemed to like me. I don't particularly know why or care. Sorry about mis-spelling Gryffindor but for some strange reason the word isn't in spell-check. Okay, on with the story.  
  
The First Day  
  
There were three more classes of potions after the first. Dunderheads the lot of them! Can't anyone do potions correctly? Why do I teach? I hate teaching! I hate the students! Don't get me wrong, I love potions, I just hate teaching it to a bunch of ignoramuses who probably can't tell the top of a caldron from the bottom!  
  
I know why I teach. I owe Albus Dumbledore a personal debt. He was the only one who was willing to believe I had changed and that I regretted my former actions as a death eater. If he hadn't given me that acceptance, that faith in me; I would likely be dead by now, possibly at my own hand, possibly by the Ministry. I owe Albus my life.  
  
And he wants me to teach potions. What I would really love to do is devote my time to research. I want to discover new potions. At least I have some time to work on research but teaching takes up my main focus of time. I asked Albus once when I could pass on my job and devote my time to research. He said when I had trained up someone who could take over my job. I'm going to be here until I'm as old as he is.  
  
Most of my colleagues distrust me. Most I don't care two Knuts about what they think. Albus is the only one I truly like. McGonagall I highly admire and respect. I think she still has some of the old power over me, from when I was one of her students. Filch and Hagrid I must admit I hold a grudging respect for. Pomfrey has a power over almost everyone. Most of the rest I don't care a sickle about. So why am I here in this infernal staff meeting listening, well half-listening while they drone on about their petty complaints. They at least are here because they want to be here. I'm not going as far as to say that I had no choice in the matter but what were the alternatives. If I didn't have Albus reassuring everyone that I wasn't a deatheater (anymore at any rate) where would I be? Also I do love being here at Hogwarts. I merely hate teaching.  
  
I am not a very social person and dislike constantly being surrounded by students and colleagues that despise me. Yes, most of that is my own fault but what else can I do? I drive students to dislike and fear me, perhaps someday that will keep them alive. Voldemort is becoming stronger all the time. Who knows what it will take to finally defeat him? The pain from the dark mark grows stronger every day. He knows I am no longer working for him. The best I can expect from him if he gets a hold of me is the killing curse and that is not likely. He is like a cat that prefers to play with his victims first. Hopefully, Potter will prove his usefulness and defeat Voldemort soon.  
  
I suddenly heard Dumbledore call my name and realize that the entire staff is looking at me. It must be my turn to tell about my experiences.  
  
"Well, what's to say?! The students don't appear to be any brighter or stupider than usual. Than again could they get any dumber? All dunderheads as usual." The staff seems to be fighting not to roll their eyes and slowly start to drift out. When it's just McGonagall, Dumbledore and I, Dumbledore tells us that there is a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix on Saturday. We both nod and leave.  
  
Before McGonagall and I part company, she asks me, "Would it kill you to give points to a Gryffindor?"  
  
"Yes." I say simply and walk back to my dungeon. 


	4. A Delimma

A/N Reviews! Reviews! Reviews! I love Reviews! People like my story. Yay! Yes, names are important indicators of a person's character. That and I like the name. I am sorry the chapters are so short so far but they don't seem to want to be longer. Besides I couldn't resist for that last chapter. As to where the story's going, how should I know? I just write the thing! By the way does anyone have any ideas for a better story title?  
  
A Dilemma  
  
The weeks went on much like the first day. Longbottom seeming to manage a spectacular failure every other week, students despising me and leaving class as soon as possible, the usual. There was just one thing I couldn't figure out. Make that one person. Goldstone. She usually arrived a few minutes early and gave me an abominably cheerful greeting, ignored all her class mates with their teasing (and they teased her a lot), was the last one done but produced an excellent potion, and stayed behind a minute or two afterwards. She usually tried to talk to me but I seldom responded. I didn't plan on today being an exception.  
  
The class had just finished up a simple variant of the Pepper-up Potion. Three people had done it perfectly. Everyone rushed to their next class but Goldstone was still putting her stuff away. "Professor Snape?"  
  
"Hmm?" I vocalized without looking up. If I didn't respond at all she either assumed I didn't hear or acted like I couldn't hear.  
  
"What's a mudblood?"  
  
That startled me. I instantly sat up straighter and looked at her. If she was startled by my reaction or understood the word at all she didn't show it. "Where did you hear that word?" I demanded.  
  
"Oh, someone called me that and I wondered what it meant." She shrugged it off. Typical Gryffindor. She wouldn't even say who it was. Than again it was probably a Slytherin and if so I would have to punish them so perhaps it's just as well.  
  
"It is an extremely rude term for some witch or wizard who is muggle-born." She shrugged. Perhaps she didn't understand the significance yet. "It is one of the worst insults you can give a person." Again not much response. "Anyone calling another student that would be immediately assigned a week of detentions." She said nothing. "Who called you that?"  
  
"It doesn't matter. I'm not upset by it or anything. I am muggle-born and see nothing wrong with it."  
  
I stared at her. However if she wasn't going to tell I couldn't force her.  
  
"When did this occur?"  
  
"Recently."  
  
"In this class, today?" I didn't think it would be. After all that would have caused a reaction by all who heard it so I should have known.  
  
She hesitated. "Yes, but it wasn't the first time."  
  
"I see. You had better get going or you will wind up late to your next class."  
  
"I don't have another class for an hour."  
  
I raised my eyebrows. "Yes but at the rate you move it could take that long." She was almost insufferably slow.  
  
She laughed. I hadn't meant it as a joke. My mouth started to twitch. Oh No, I am not going to smile! I ended up with a semi-twisted scowl. She only laughed harder. Sometimes she gave me the uncomfortable feeling that she could see inside me and through every action I made. Especially at times like this, she seemed to know that I was trying to hide a smile. Her eyes twinkled a bit.  
  
"Even if you don't have class, I have work." I sounded a bit gruffer than I intended to. I had a bit to think about. She smiled and wished me a good day as she left. She was the only one in the school including the teachers to ever verbally wish me a good day. She couldn't be trying to suck up because she certainly did well enough in Potions without it. She also couldn't just be naturally friendly because she didn't appear to have any friends in the students. Those good in school seldom have friends. I realized she was being teased but not to that extant. Regardless of house I couldn't let any student insult any other in that way. I made up my mind to take away twenty points from the offender's house (regardless of house) if I heard any one call anyone else a mudblood. That couldn't be tolerated.  
  
Anyway onto grading papers… I was only vaguely surprised that her paper was on top of the pile. She couldn't spell and her handwriting was atrocious but I could read it and she knew what she was talking about. The girl practically devoured books. Probably easier dealing with books than people. Any way take off a few points each for spelling and handwriting and she still had a 90%. I wasn't surprised that none of the others were doing so well until I got to the bottom. As I started reading the last one I couldn't help feeling I had read it before. Suddenly I remembered. I took Goldstone's and this new scroll and held them side-by-side. They were practically identical. Either they had both copied directly from the same source or one had copied the other. I checked the name on the second scroll. Jorn Malvont. A distant cousin of the Malfoys. He was a clever boy but not as far as essays go. Besides, if Goldstone had copied him, she wouldn't have so many spelling errors. Also if she had copied from a book there wouldn't be so many errors. Now, what? If I side with a Gryffindor over a Slytherin… I don't even want to imagine everyone's reaction. Finally I wrote on the top of both papers, "See me after class."  
  
Now I had a week before dealing with them. 


	5. Company

A/N: Well I thought that leaving you with a cliffhanger (sort of) would lead to more reviews. It doesn't appear to have worked because I only got two more reviews and one had nothing to do with the chapter. Now don't get me wrong, I love reviews of all kinds and am not upset but I had hopped for more. So… I'm not going to resolve Snape's little dilemma in this chapter! (Snape: WHAT! Me: insane laughter) I'm not going to say something like five more reviews or anything like that but I think you get the idea. Also who's interested in a little Snape romance? You'll find out whom my idea is if you read the chapter.  
  
Company  
  
I decided to ignore my little problem and work on something useful. Let's see, the storeroom was in good order so there was no need to clean that out. Was I low on any potions? No, not really. Ah! I could make some more wolfsbane potion. Even though Lupin left Hogwarts years ago I still made the potion for him. Dumbledore was considering hiring him back I heard. Whether that would be a good thing or a bad thing I was still unsure of. We still hadn't had a DADA teacher last more than a year and most of the candidates were pathetic dunderheads that wouldn't recognize Voldemort if he stood in front of them. Lupin knew his stuff I had to admit. True we were enemies as students as a teacher he never attempted to humiliate me publicly like his idiot friends and he did when we were younger.  
  
I was just getting started when there was a knock at my door. I stared at the door for a minute. That couldn't be right. No one knocked at my door. Finally I called out, "Who's there?"  
  
"It's Astra Sinistra. May I come in?"  
  
I let her in. This was odd. Sinistra was an intelligent woman who seldom left her astronomy tower. She was almost as much a recluse as I was. What was she doing in the dungeons? "What's the matter? Got Lost?" I don't dislike the woman but I couldn't stop myself either.  
  
She fortunately was used to my sarcasm. "Yes Severus, I got lost I was trying to end up in the North Pole. This place is so cold it threw me off." This wasn't the first time she had returned my sarcasm with her own.  
  
I nodded. Then deciding that I would be a good host if it killed me (and it might) offered her a seat and asked if she wanted some tea.  
  
"I'm not interrupting, am I?"  
  
"No, not really." For some strange reason I felt like having company for a while.  
  
"So, why were you headed to the North Pole?"  
  
She smiled but decided to play along a while longer. "The Aurora Borealis, of course."  
  
"Ah, the Northern Lights."  
  
"Also I had a question for you."  
  
I raised my eyebrows for her to continue.  
  
"A student asked me recently how astronomy affected other branches of magic. For example Divination is supposed to rely heavily on astronomy but most of us think Divination is a load of rot. She wondered specifically about potions and possibly herbology possibly having some relationship. She didn't think charms or transfiguration would have much to do with astronomy. So I said I would ask."  
  
"I see. Well, wolfsbane is strongest when brewed at new moon. And some require fresh ingredients that can only be gotten at certain times. Though for the most part most potions have nothing to do with astronomy. By the way who asked the question, a Ravenclaw?" Astra had been a Ravenclaw.  
  
"No, actually it was a Gryffindor by the name of Sophia Goldstone."  
  
Can I never escape that girl? "What is she like in your class?"  
  
"Well, she is a bit slow to grasp concepts and can't work out a star formula to save her life. But she remembers constellation names, pays attention and asks interesting questions. She tries to integrate the branches of magic in her mind. Definitely better at memorizing than using formulas. Why?"  
  
"All I see her in is potions. Sometimes you get a skewed view of a student that way."  
  
She gave me a strange look at that but I ignored it. "Oh dear, I have a class in five minutes! I can't possibly make it on time!" Then she thought of something. "Can I use your fireplace?"  
  
"Certainly, There's floo powder in the vase."  
  
"Thank you! It was nice talking with you."  
  
"It was nice talking with you too." To my surprise I meant it. She vanished from sight. It had been nice to have company for a while.  
  
A/N Okay what do you think? Should I try for a Snape/Sinistra romance? No I'm not doing a Snape/Lupin romance. I can't write slash. Sorry for those of you who thought I was heading there. Review! 


	6. A Delimma Resolved

A/N: What does it take for reviews!? Here I am giving a minor cliffe and a decision to make and I get three reviews. Sheesh! Okay, here's the deal. If anyone is reading this (crickets chirp, Me: knock it off!) I have to resolve the dilemma in this chapter but … you can still have a say in whether or not you want a romance. Just submit by Friday. If I do make this a romance, things will move quite slowly. I believe that is the way things usually work. They won't just get stuck together for a weekend, fall in love, and decided to get married. Also probably the most you will ever see is kissing. That's just the way I am. (Snape: get on with the story!) Okay! Okay! Moving on!  
  
A Dilemma Resolved  
  
Unfortunately the week passed quickly by and all too soon I had two very confused students standing at my desk.  
  
"What are you doing here mu…ggle?" Jorn asked angrily. I knew what he had been about to say but caught himself.  
  
Goldstone rolled her eyes and muttered something about maturity.  
  
I decided to take over before this became a fight. "All right, you are both here for a reason! I was grading essays and your essays are nearly identical." They both appeared a bit surprised at this. "Okay, this leads me to believe that either one of you copied the other or that you both copied another source. If you confess now you will merely have ten points deducted from your house and a detention. If you do not the consequences will be worse. You have five minutes to confess and don't say anything but a confession" I added when both looked about to speak.  
  
Both looked at each other and at me but neither made any move to confess. What could I do if they didn't? Sentence them both to detentions until one confessed? Make them both take Verisitem (I know I spelled that wrong)? Give them both a test on it? Take them to Dumbledore? The five minutes were quickly running out. I had to do something fast!  
  
"Five minutes are up! No one willing to confess?" Neither said a word. Okay now what? "Goldstone, sit in that corner and Malvont sit in that corner." I pointed to opposite sides of the room. "Now, both of you take out a parchment and number from one to ten." Looks like I'm going with the test after all. If they do about equally I'll take them to Dumbledore. If they had done the research the questions shouldn't be too hard, but definitely too had to guess. At the end I had both bring their papers up. Goldstone had nine out of ten and Malvont had four out of ten.  
  
"Goldstone, I want you to wait outside a few minutes." She nodded and left. Malvont now definitely looked scared and shocked. I knew that if I talked quietly it would scare him more than if I yelled. "What did you think you were doing?" This had gotten personal. He was trying to make a fool out of me!  
  
He was stuttering by now. I continued, "Did you think I wouldn't be able to tell who copied who? Did you think I was too stupid to know that you copied?" Now he was really scared. I would have to give a punishment now. "Twenty points from Slytherin and detention for a week!" I don't believe I had ever taken so many points from my house at one time. Now to add the best part. "Oh, and you have to apologize to Miss Goldstone." I said this almost as if it were a bit of small talk not something revolutionary. The boy had probably never had to apologize in his life and now I of all people was making him apologize to a Gryffindor. I considered it quite appropriate. He now appeared in danger of hyperventilating. I gave him a minute to pull himself together then asked Goldstone to come back in.  
  
She looked at us questioningly but came up to the desk. "Mr. Malvont." I prompted.  
  
"Um… uh… I'm … sorr…er… sorry Goldstone…"  
  
"Sophia" I corrected.  
  
Now he definitely thought I'd lost my mind. "Sophia"  
  
She could tell it was forced but accepted it anyway. "It's alright Jorn." And held out her hand. He stared at it for a minute. She rolled her eyes. "Honestly I don't have cooties!" This brought questioning stares from us. "Sometimes muggle children when they are really young think that children of the opposite sex have something called cooties that can be caught through touch. I don't know precisely what cooties is supposed to be but it is considered… undesirable. But most kids get over that at five or six."  
  
Finally after a few glares from me he shook her hand briefly and immediately started wiping it on his robes. She rolled her eyes yet again but otherwise ignored it. I then told them they both could go. Goldstone stopped for a moment anyway. "Do boys ever grow up?" she asked exasperated.  
  
"Never." 


	7. Christmas

A.N. Okay since the one reviewer who said anything about it told me to go a head with a romance (and I wanted to give it a shot anyway) I am going to make this an S/S romance. By the way 'Astra' means star. I thought it an appropriate name for an astronomy teacher. Okay, there will probably be a bit of Snape talking to himself in here. A bit of a warm up for romance. Hey, what did you think about how I (Snape: you mean I) dealt with the dilemma? Okay for those wondering why Harry hasn't been mentioned much… he and his friends probably won't be in here much. Sorry but that's the way it goes. Of course if you don't like them maybe your glad they aren't here. Okay on with the story.  
  
Christmas  
  
A few weeks passed. Nothing notable happened. Malvont spent half his time in potions glaring at Goldstone. Perhaps I should force them to work together. Than again I'd rather not have any deaths in my classroom. I had no more company. However perhaps I was imagining it but it seemed that Astra was smiling at me a bit more. Longbottom continued going through more cauldrons in two months than I had in my entire life. In fact few of the seventh years had learned much. Malfoy was good but was becoming more distant and withdrawn. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do about it. I suspected that his father was pressuring him to take the Dark Mark. Perhaps he had. Either way he wouldn't be talking to me about it.  
  
It was now Christmas and I was enduring the staff Christmas party. There was food and drink and even a decorated tree with presents. I had taken some food and was hiding as far in the corner as I could. I'm not scared of open spaces it was just crowded. I knew there wouldn't be anything under the tree for me. Well, except for something from Dumbledore. He gives a gift to every teacher so that didn't count.  
  
/So you're just going to hide in the corner/  
  
'I am not hiding. I am…'  
  
/Sparing everyone your miserable company/  
  
'Shut up'  
  
/There's Astra laughing with McGonagall. Why don't you say something to her?/  
  
'First of all there's nothing to say. Second of all why should I? Third, Why would she want to talk to me? She seems to be enjoying herself.'  
  
/ You should because you like her./  
  
'Do not'  
  
/You do. You even had a crush on her in school/  
  
'I was a student then. I am now a teacher.'  
  
/Just because you're a teacher doesn't mean you're just a mean old ogre to frighten students./  
  
'I happen to enjoy frightening students'  
  
/That's not the point/  
  
'There's a point?'  
  
However my internal dialogue was cut short when none other but Astra Sinistra came and sat down next to me.  
  
"You look depressed, what's wrong?" she asked.  
  
I stared at her in shock for a moment.  
  
/Say something/  
  
"I'm not depressed. I'm merely losing an argument with myself"  
  
'I did not just say that.'  
  
/Yes you did/  
  
'Stop gloating'  
  
"Yes, inner arguments are the hardest to win." She stated sagely. Okay any second now she was going to crack up laughing and announce to the entire staff that I had lost whatever sanity I still possessed. But she didn't. Instead she merely said, "Did you know you have some presents under the tree?"  
  
"Well, naturally there's the one from Dumbledore…"  
  
"No, Severus, I mean plural."  
  
I look at her, trying to figure out if she was joking. She didn't appear to be so I headed over to the tree. She was right. I had three. I stared in shock. Not one of them said on the outside who they were from but I could tell that the purple with shapes on it was from Dumbledore. He likes things colorful like that. The other two were in slightly more conservative or at least traditional Christmas wrapping paper. I caught Astra smiling at me while I walked back to my seat presents in hand. I opened Dumbledore's first. It was a new set of unbreakable vials for my potions. They were also guaranteed not to affect the effectiveness of the potion. Also they managed to fit however much liquid there was without changing shape. They were definitely a Very Nice set.  
  
The next present was wrapped in green paper with sprigs of holly on it. I opened it to find a hand-knitted scarf in green and silver. It was from Sophia Goldstone. As I mentioned my surprise to this Astra laughed.  
  
"You haven't been paying much attention, have you! The girl knitted a scarf for everyone. Mine is mostly black with some white spots," She showed me hers, "All the heads of houses got their house colors. Dumbledore got one that had every houses colors on it. Professor Bins even got one in bright orange. She also did a brown one for Filch and a variegated one for Hagrid. Oh, and Dumbledore also got some knitted wool socks."  
  
We both had to laugh at this. Dumbledore's semi-obsession with socks was legendary.  
  
"Where did the girl find time to knit a scarf for each of her teachers and some socks and study?"  
  
It was about then the entire staff began discussing said student. That was how I learned that she wasn't too bad a student in most classes but definitely slow. Transfiguration she was okay at. Charms she was usually one of the last to get it right. Herbology wasn't too bad but then again it is almost impossible to fail that class. I wasn't sure what they were learning in DADA so didn't even bother to see how she did. As far as flying went she still was barely getting off the ground. She would probably master it as transportation by the end of the year, but she certainly wasn't going to be in Qudditch. Definitely more of the bookworm type than the athlete type.  
  
The conversation started to die down and I remembered that I still had one more present left in my lap. Astra had disappeared by then. It was in black wrapping paper with small Christmas trees on it. I opened it up and found a fairly large white crystal. There was a note in the box telling me to hold the crystal in front of a candle with a wall in front of that. There was no mention in the note about who sent it. I decided to leave the party (it was about to end any way) and try out the crystal. I went down to the dungeons. As I got there I realized I was starting to get a bit cold. So I put on the scarf. It was pretty warm too. A little scratchy but nice and warm. I got down to my room and decided to test the crystal. Holding it in front of the candle, I turned my head to look at the wall. The Northern Lights. Astra. I put it down and found myself smiling for a minute. Now I had to give something to her…  
  
A. N. Any suggestions folks? Please review! I beg of you! 


	8. A Present for Sinistra

A.N. Okay, I'm not getting a lot of reviews but most of the ones I get are good. So I'm assuming that that means the story is fairly decent. Thank you so much my wonderful reviewers, especially those who have reviewed more than one chapter. Okay on with the story.  
  
A Present for Sinistra  
  
Okay, Astra got me a very nice and fairly expensive and meaningful gift for Christmas. I now have to get something for her before Christmas is over. I can worry about Goldstone later she went home for Christmas. Okay, now what to get Astra…  
  
Since she teaches Astronomy something related to that would be appropriate but chances are she would already have anything I could give her. It has to be meaningful. What? I'm no good at shopping! Besides, it's Christmas day and all the stores would be closed! What to do… what to do. Think, Severus! What do you know about her? What would she like? What can you give her?  
  
Okay what I know first. She teaches Astronomy. She is a bit of a loner. She reads a lot. If I recall correctly she is also fond of animals. She has a sense of humor. We have had quite a few verbal volleys of sarcasm. Think!  
  
Okay, what would she like? She likes a lot of things! How should I know what to get her!  
  
What can I get her? Well, maybe someplace in Hogsmeade is still open. It's worth a shot. I head out to the edge of the Anti-Apparation zones. Think! Think! Think!  
  
/So you do like her. You want to make sure you get her something really nice./  
  
'Don't be ridiculous. It's gift-giving etiquette.'  
  
/What do you know about etiquette?/  
  
'More than you do. Now can you kindly shut up! I have to apparate and would rather not splinch myself.'  
  
Taking the silence as affirmation I quickly apparate away. The village looks deserted. I wander down the streets. All the stores are closed. What a surprise. I am about to apparate back when I notice one store on the end that's still open. Hmmm, Knickknacks. Maybe there's something in here she'll like.  
  
I walk in and look around. So far, it doesn't appear promising. Most of the knickknacks are extremely tasteless. Astra may have eclectic tastes, but she still has taste. Terrific. The shop owner sees me looking around.  
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
I hesitate. Would he be able to help me or not. Do I really want his help? After all most of these things are … tacky. Well, I'm not doing well on my own.  
  
"I received a very nice present from a lady that I wasn't expecting anything from and would like to give something in return."  
  
He smiled knowingly. "Oh, like that is it?" I glared. "Well, tell me about this lady."  
  
"She teaches astronomy, she's smart, likes animals, bookworm, you know, that type."  
  
"She pretty?"  
  
I glared harder.  
  
"It's not like that!"  
  
Okay strictly speaking, Astra Sinistra is not pretty. She is attractive in a way but not pretty. This shopkeeper seemed to think that because I denied that this was romantic it must be so.  
  
"I have an idea. Wait here." He then went into the back room to fetch who knows what. He came out with a fairly small glass ball. It was a bit smaller than a crystal ball but still heavy enough for a paperweight. I stared at the man is disbelief. What the heck was this? He merely smiled and turned off the lights. Then the glass ball appeared black with holes in it. I looked at the ceiling and saw the constellations.  
  
"It changes with the sky and you can focus in on any area." He demonstrated by touching a spot and the spot got bigger on the ceiling. He touched some more and showed a pretty impressive nebula. "It only works in the dark. Your friend won't have one of these, they just came out last week. I can include a card on how it works and gift wrapping for an extra five sickles."  
  
"How much total?"  
  
"Including extras, its ten galleons and seven sickles."  
  
"Deal."  
  
He wrapped it up and handed it to me. I apparated back to Hogwarts. Now I had to give it to her. Was she as nervous giving me the crystal as I am about this star globe? I left it at her door and then left. I was afraid to see her reaction. 


	9. Purple with Pink Polka Dots

A.N. Okay I don't think I updated yesterday so I better do it today. Hey what do you think of the gift? I don't know what I'll do with this chapter but I'm in a silly mood tonight so if it gets insane you'll know why. If it doesn't well, we'll see. I have an idea that's so crazy it just might work.  
  
Purple with pink polka dots  
  
  
  
Seventh year potions with Gryffindors and Slytherins. I hated it. This was a sort of potion equivalent of the cheering charm. If I had any idea how wrong things would go I probably would have skipped it. Oh, my poor head…  
  
It all started out as usual. The usual disasters and failures that seemed to always occur. The potion was blue not red. The potion was even more watery than water. The potion was thicker than cement. Longbottom's was purple with pink polka dots. I don't even want to know how that happened. I was beginning to get a horrid headache. I had merely stepped back to the desk for some headache relief potion when there was an explosion. Longbottom's caldron exploded splattering that purple with pink polka dot goop everywhere and on everyone except me. I quickly eyed the group. No one seemed hurt. I sighed and quickly took the headache potion. I had a feeling I'd need it.  
  
"Alright, Is anyone hurt?"  
  
No one responded. To me that is. Granger appeared to be finding her quill the most amusing thing in the world. Potter was singing some ridiculous muggle song with word like "Zippity-do-da Zippity-ay". Wealsly and Longbottom were actually dancing with some nearby girls! Crabbe and Goyle and Malfoy were making lame remarks and falling over laughing at them. Parkinson and Patil were having some kind of girl talk complete with lots of laughing. The other students seemed to be in quite similar condition. Lavender Brown was skipping about the room and even tried to dance with me! Seamus Finnegan was bouncing across the room saying loudly, "Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy!"  
  
Whatever this potion was it wasn't a cheering one! It was more of a drive you off the deep end with humor potion. Also it was apparently absorbed instead of ingested. I could believe some of the class accidentally ingesting it but not the entire class. I decided to get some in a jar so I could test it later. This was difficult to accomplish considering I couldn't touch it myself. I also had to avoid coming to close to the students who were as much lunatics as when this mess began. I managed to do this and then magically cleaned up the rest. I then decided I would merely have to hope that this wore off quickly.  
  
Potter and Malfoy now had their arms around each other and were acting like best friends. Wealsly and Granger had started dancing on the tables. Crabbe and Goyle were singing very badly might I add. Longbottom was proposing to Brown who seemed to think she was a unicorn. I only had them for another half hour, what if it didn't wear off before class was over. They all appeared drunk or on sugar high. I really wasn't quite sure what to do about the situation. I had tried yelling but that had zero effect. Fortunately as the half hour passed the class slowly calmed down. In fifteen minutes they were all asleep. I sighed once again and decided not to wake them until I had too. Once the fifteen minutes passed I cast a small but noisy explosion from my wand. The class slowly and groggily woke up. No one seemed to remember what had happened. I decided not to enlighten them but merely told everyone to leave immediately. They seemed almost hung over. How did this all happen in the first place? I almost whimper for a second my headache back full force. I started putting the desks back to their original positions. I was finished and about to leave the room when I noticed something purple with pink polka dots on the edge of my robe. The funniest feeling started to come over me… 


	10. Saturday

A.N. Hi! I'm back! Yes, I know yesterday's chapter was crazy. You know the scary thing? I did that without sugar! That was just silliness on my part. I was extremely tempted to switch to 3rd person POV at the end and have McGonagall walk in with Snape acting like a lunatic. Perhaps I should have. (Snape: OH NO YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!) Anyway…  
  
  
  
Saturday  
  
It was Saturday. The day after the catastrophe of the year. I am now calling that potion 'Lunatic Potion.' I had to be careful. This was the ultimate pranking potion. Good thing the Wealsly twins graduated years ago. They were running a joke shop now if memory served me. Perhaps they would like it anyway. I had managed to figure out how Longbottom made it without exploding a caldron. I still had a headache. At least no one saw me acting like a lunatic… I hope! I didn't even know what I did. Definitely annoying. I was now in the dungeon making Potions for the medical wing. I happened to hear a voice outside.  
  
"Bored, bored, bored, bored." The voice sounded familiar so I looked out the door to see who it was. It was Goldstone wandering the halls chanting to herself. She didn't see me at first.  
  
"Goldstone, what are you doing here?" It wasn't against the rules for her to be here but it was definitely unusual. She didn't get along well with Gryffindors and even worse with Slytherins. I heard she had one or two friends in Ravenclaw though. However normally only Slytherins would be in the dungeons voluntarily.  
  
She looked up startled. "Oh, I didn't see you! I'm bored. I can't be in my common room because it's too noisy and no one talks to me. I can't go outside because it's raining. I got kicked out of the library because someone hexed me…" She suddenly glowed bright pink for a minute. "See, Madam Pince said it was too distracting. So I just started walking and ended up here. What are you doing?"  
  
"I happen to be working on Potions for the Medical wing." I was about to go inside when Goldstone smiled and asked if she could help. Hmmm. Could she? She was just a first year. I was about to say no but she really wanted to help. Besides, if she went wandering through the dungeons she would be a target for some more vicious Slytherins. "Very well, but do not get in my way."  
  
"I won't! Thanks Professor! What should I do?"  
  
"Count out twenty newt's eyes." I had learned by teaching her that she did best if told what to do one step at a time. With her help I actually got done sooner then I thought I would. It was almost time for dinner by then, so I had her help me carry them to the medical wing on the way to the great hall. That way I could guarantee she didn't become a target. We ran into Astra on the way to the hall. I swear that the girl took one look at Astra and I and just disappeared.  
  
"Severus, I wanted to thank you for the star globe. I really like it."  
  
"I would like to thank you for the crystal."  
  
We were acting like second years trying to think of things to say. "Was that Sophia I saw with you?"  
  
"Yes, She was wandering the dungeons while I was trying to make potions and wanted to help. I decided that might be a good idea." Astra knew what I was referring to. Even I had to admit that Slytherin had been credited with more violence than any other house. The girl would have been in danger especially if she met any new, or wanna-be death eaters. Much better to keep in eye on her. Astra nodded realizing what I said and meant without mentioning it herself. Oh well forget about that now. "Let me walk you to dinner, Astra?" I offered my arm.  
  
She looked surprised for half a second but smiled and took it and we walked to dinner. 


	11. The Prank Week

A.N. I'm Back! And I have Sugar!! (Snape: FLEE FOR YOUR SANITY! Me: MWAHAAHHAA!) Okay, I got zero reviews for chapter ten. If this continues I will assume that no one likes it and everyone has stopped reading and therefore I should stop writing and start selling tulips for a living! All right maybe not that far but you know what I mean. Okay If anyone is reading this: would you like: a.) More Sophia Goldstone, b.) More Astra Sinistra, c.) More incredibly silly scenes, or d.) All of the above. Also e.) Other. If other please explain.  
  
The Prank Week  
  
I don't know who suggested it but if I find out I'll take a broomstick, fly two miles straight up and drop them on one of the castle turrets! How could Dumbledore have agreed to such a thing? It was a preposterous idea! It was… I don't know what it was but it was bad!  
  
I'm getting ahead of myself. What happened was someone suggested a teacher- student prank war. It was to last a week. I said that this was a bad idea but no, Dumbledore had to approve it! It was teachers against students. No taking points and no holds barred. Only a few places were off limits; the common rooms, the staff room, and our personal rooms. The rest of the castle was fair game. I wanted classes to be out of bounds as well but Dumbledore said that wouldn't be any fun. Fun! I'll show him fun! This week has been misery! The only thing fun about it is that it's finally over!  
  
The first thing to go wrong was Goldstone, getting into the spirit of things, and obviously getting some extra help in charms, charmed my robe to change colors. And it wasn't just solids either. It was some of the ugliest patterns. I couldn't keep their attention for longer than forty-five seconds. Fortunately the charm only lasted one day. Actually I was kind of proud of her for learning how to do that. However I still had to repay a prank for a prank. However, I didn't want something that could go to wrong. I had seen how easily she could burst into tears. She has enough trouble getting friends as it is. Waiting until her back was turned I charmed her ingredients to keep moving away from her. It took her about a minute to realize what was wrong, she hadn't been looking, and another five minutes to figure out a way to catch it. She basically saw where the ingredient was and formed her hands in a circle and surrounded it so it couldn't get away.  
  
While Malvont was laughing at her, I slipped a Filabuster firework under his chair. In about a minute he got the surprise of his life. Goldstone saw me do it, but actually distracted him so he wouldn't see me.  
  
Not too many other first years thought of much. Though I particularly liked the Ravenclaw who figured out how to make my ink transfigure into toads as I wrote. That was fairly complicated. Many second years were in the same plight. It was the third years and on I had to look out for. These students could get to Hogsmeade and visit Zonko's and the Wealsly twin's store. Those two may not have been good academically but they certainly were creative as far as pranks got on. Seventh years were particularly vindictive. I had to avoid everything under the sun. I heard poor Flitwick got it worst. Seventeen trick wands; thirteen prank charms; five transfiguratations; and twenty-seven miscellaneous pranks. McGonagall got the least. I think the students were afraid to face her. A few even got played on Dumbledore; Now, I now that he can tolerate a joke well, but I am surprised at their daring.  
  
At the end of the week, Dumbledore wanted to announce the students from each year and the teacher who He nominated best pranksters. The qualifications were, that the pranks had to be original, harmless, and able to be reversed eventually. I still can't believe that he decided to do this. He nominates the winners from the first year first. Strangely, enough there was a tie between Goldstone and Malvont. I didn't think she had it in her. I am barely paying attention. Seventh year winners was also a tie. This time between Potter and Wealsly. That doesn't surprise me in the least. I'll bet they had help. Then he announces the teachers. Another tie…?!  
  
"The winners of the teachers are Astra Sinistra and Severus Snape!"  
  
I start choking on my Pumpkin juice. How did this happen? Yes, I played pranks but I didn't think they were that good! Wait, Sinistra won too. I wouldn't have thought of her as a prankster. The rest of the school looks about as surprised as I did. You know, maybe this wasn't such a bad week after all… 


	12. The Winner's Dinner

A.N. Hello faithful readers! [crickets: Tirzah winces] Yeah, I know! Long time, no write! Sorry! I had to be away for the summer plus I had writers block so. Well, I'm back now! Also it's been exactly 10 months since I last updated. I thought now was a good time. I promise not to wait so long for the next update. It will be faster with reviews, hint, hint  
  
The Winner's Dinner  
  
All of the winner's from the prank contest were having a special dinner as a prize. We all sat at the same table apart from the rest of the school. I was sitting next to Astra and across from Goldstone and Malvont. Most of the winners were comparing pranks.  
  
"Tell me, Severus, what tricks did you play?" Astra asked curiously.  
  
"Well, I had the seventh years work on a potion that turned themselves into frogs. The sixth years worked on a potion that made them flash in and out of invisibility. The fifth years worked on a potion that changed their skin different colors. The forth years had to do a potion that made them unable to speak. The third years had to make a potion that rendered them unable to use magic. The second years made a potion that made them forget who they were. And the first years had to make a potion that would make them think they were their favorite animals. Naturally none of them were told the potion would do this and all of the potions lasted only for a day. Plus there were various smaller pranks. My particular favorite was bewitching the furniture so it kept moving around. And you?"  
  
"My main prank was to use the star globe in the southern hemisphere, but not let the students know that, and watch them try to find the usual constellations. How about you Sophia?"  
  
"Gooky worms!"  
  
I blinked a few times. "What?" What on this earth were gooky worms?  
  
Goldstone grinned. "I wanted to do one prank that involved every class I take. I got yew sticks from Herbology, because they are best to transfigure. Dipped them into an animate potion, and transfigured them into worms. I charmed them to seek out people, but not me. When they got stepped on, purple goop got flung everywhere, and the only way to clean it up was to name in order the ten goblin wars of the 1300's. I really couldn't figure out how us to use History of Magic. And then I let them loose in Astronomy. Again, I couldn't figure anything else out."  
  
Astra smiled. "I thought that would be a main consideration. That had to be a lot of trouble. Oh, thank you for not saying anything when you noticed the star globe was in the southern hemisphere."  
  
I started thinking then. "You knew. You knew that the potion would do that didn't you? It's the only potion so far you didn't get right."  
  
"Well maybe it's because you enchanted my ingredients. I didn't know exactly, but I did know it wasn't a potion to cure burns like you said."  
  
"How?"  
  
"There was no aloe. That's in all burn potions you said two weeks ago. Plus I knew that gilboa leaves affect the mind."  
  
Good. She had been paying attention. I think she might have been the only one to catch that. I had purposely told the students a week ahead of time that all burns potions had aloe in them, just to see how many fell for the prank the next week.  
  
"Professor Sinistra? Are you left handed?" Goldstone asked suddenly.  
  
"Why yes I am, why do you ask?"  
  
"Well I remembered that Sinistra meant left in Latin and I realized that you were eating with your left hand."  
  
"Yes, it's a family trait actually. That's how I got my last name. Unfortunately not many people remember that it comes from the word meaning left, and most people think it means something evil. Oh, well. That's life."  
  
Interesting, I hadn't noticed that Astra was left handed. Now that I think about it though, it is pretty obvious.  
  
I dread ceremonies like this. I have already run out of things to say and it isn't even half over. Silence falls on our side of the table.  
  
Eventually the dinner is over and we leave.  
A.N. Okay, sorry, Kind of ran out of steam. I know it's kinda short but I really can't think of anything else. Oh, I'm thinking of making the next chapter a little angsty. Should I give it a try or stick to humor. 


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